Saturday, July 12, 2008

Taggola!!

Oh well... I was so jobless that I actually went and asked for a tag. And of all people, I had to ask her. And here we go... I have been dragged to a tag that at least seems not weird, or stupid...but really really difficult. Given the fact that the person who tagged me has literally stolen 80% of my content and I cant even sue her for plagiarism. :(

Anyways... Will try to squeeze the poor little soul thats underneath the ghazni hair do and try to write something. :D

The Tag:

6 Whatever's about me:
Well...if you have been following my blogs, the last time I blogged, I had written 8 whatevers about me. Aint that enough?? :O:O But there are so many whatevers about me that I simply cant get bored of writing those little whatevers. Huh... Whatever.


1: I hate to take bath. I mean, I feel weird to take bath. You know... the water falling on you and then soap and yada yada. I dont find it least interesting let alone fascinating. I remember the times when I was a kid and mom used to run behind me to make me take bath. And I used to run around the house...err...naked. Just to escape bathing. I dont know. Maybe I have a thing against water that I manage to enjoy it only from a distance. I really wonder if there can be a magic potion applying which, you are devoid of germs and dirt. Or this gas chamber which'll do the same. Without a drop of water. :D

1(a): Oh yeah... That totally doesnt explain why I havent learnt swimming. Nope. Not in the least sense. Because, I had real big plans of taking up swimming classes and become a swimmer. Until, I watched the tv show - Baywatch. I mean...come on. Who would want to know swimming when you know that there'll be this bunch of beautiful scantily clad women who are ever ready to save you in case you are drowning. With that thought, I promised myself that I'll not learn swimming. This happened at the age of 8. Little did I know then that such things only happen in the TV. But I cant break the promise can I?? So there...


2: I have been flunking a lotta of these corporate certification exams. My success rate has been very poor and I was introspecting as to why it is so. Not that I have turned into a moron whose grey cells are getting older by the day rendering my ability to think way below par. Its just not that. I am as sensible, intelligent and quick witted(*runs and hides before people can throw things... come back to continue sensing that there is no one around*) as I was before. The problem is with kerosene. Yes. I meant the Kerosene Auto Xerox in Girish Xerox shop. I remember the times when we used to get 30 ps xerox done and the paper used to smell so much of kerosene that it would create nausea. But then, our success rate of studying from it and scoring used to be huge. And I dont ever remember to have studied from proper text books or non-smelly xerox papers throughout my engineering. So, I think I simply cant read from neat papers. I need kerosene xeroxed papers to study. But alas... we are not able to find such xeroxes these days. For people who havent studied from it surely are missing something.


3. I think I have a problem of concerted thinking. In a conversation, I cant simply speak of just one thing. I mean, in a one minute conversation I would have spoken about 3 or 4 different things in succession with quick context switching leaving the other person feeling dizzy. Not just that, my mind seems to wander as I speak. Wander a lot and that contributes to me speaking many different things with no connection whatsoever at the same stretch. That explains why many of my friends talk to me and never get bored for however long they talk coz if I am in those normal moods(which is abnormal in the common man's lingo), I can go on and on and on till the other person sleeps. A perfect person to speak to in a Pub as one of my friends puts it. hehe...So true!! Mostly I sound so drunk. :P

4. They say, women have mood swings. But thats so not true. Even men have that. Atleast I do. I have severe mood swings were one moment I'll be this really bubbly person making a lotta fun, talking a lot of crap and simply be happy and the next moment I can talk really sad, worried, tense and for a second give the feeling if I am suffering with some kinda MPD. But then, relax. Its just a mood swing. Partly contributed to point 4, which means I constantly keep thinking and this swing in mood has gotta do with that.

5. Oh god... Still in 5th. Wait. Let me think. Oh yeah... I am an extremely extraordinarily superstitious person. Yes. For example, if I am playing a game of snooker and I place the chalk at a position on the table corner and pot a ball, I would make sure I keep it at that place for the entire match... wait... the entire day and even after. I have worn the same set of formals for all major interviews after I got my first job in NIIT wearing that. Oh man... I have so much superstition in things that now to think of it and list down, its getting difficult. I mean... its almost become a way of life that people think thats the way I am but actually thats the way I have made it as. Phew. Oh yeah... I always wear four knots of shoe lace(thou shall never slip over your lace and fall), always take the coffee in the left hand and then pass it on to the right(I feel this way the coffee wont spill), never fail to glimpse at the sun at any given time of the day(good omen I feel as though I am getting the powers) and oh holy lord... so much more. I should blog about it sometime.


6. Being a software engineer, it would literally be a crime if I dont write anything about computers. Well...its a known fact that the favourite keys of a lot of people in the Software industry would be Ctrl, C and V. But for me it is Shift and Del. Two keys that give me the power to eliminate a thing from the very face of the earth. Oh boy... I get a lotta joy doing that. Right from mails to unnecessary folders to what not. I go about happily deleting stuff for its so much fun and gives me inexplicable powers. Yes. I even delete my scraps in orkut. :) Guess what... I deleted a total of 24 GB from my office machine today. The world is now a cleaner place by 24 GB. :D


7. Let me make this as a combination of a lotta other whatevers about me. Six is too less. I cannot sleep without cuddling under a bedsheet, however thin or thick it is and whatever season it might be. I wont get sleep otherwise. I have many personalities within me. And each one is deadlier than the other.(Buhahahahaha) I simply cant read books... they put me to sleep. Any book for that matter right from the magazine Outlook to engineering Thermodynamics to Ayn Rand's Atlas Shrugged. I believe in sun-signs, astrology, palmistry and all that crap. I attach sentimental values to all of my stuff.. watches, pen, paper, cell, comp, chair and most importantly clothes. My mom has a tough time getting rid of old clothes. She has only recently reached upto my clothes worn when I was 18. She has another 5 years to cover. I never throw away any of my stuff. I plan to buy two houses. One to live in, one to dump my stuff. :D

5 Things I miss right now:

1. I miss those conversations I used to have with my dad. We used to get very little time to talk. The time taken from railway station to home and home to railway station is all the time I used to get alone with dad.(He used to work in bangalore and used to come home in the weekends) And boy... what conversations we have had. Miss all those and more.. :(

2. I miss that maroon color checked short shirt that I bought when in tenth and which I wore until yesterday. Mom gave it away to the servant maid's kid. And I had a huge fight with mom before this tragedy happened.

3. Felcy mam's nose pinch. Felcy mam was one of my childhood crushes and I used to love the way she used to pinch my so called long nose. I had even decided that I am going to baby-sit her kids just to stay with her all my life and get my nose-pinched.

4. I miss summer holidays. Those were the times when it took just 2 months for my skin color to change from Kamal Hassan's color to gaptun Vijayakanth's color. Yes. My schedule used to be Shuttle Badminton(6 am to 9 am) - bath, breakfast - Cricket(10 am to 2 pm) - lunch, siesta - Cricket(4 pm to 6 pm) - some chatting, some lame talk - TT in friend's garage(7 pm to 9 pm) - some mom's scoldings for playing like that and then dinner and sleep. That was some routine.

5. I miss college culturals. The numerous competitions, the organization, the intros, the sights, the chicks, the glamor, the bulleying, the fights, the eggs that were thrown on stage, the lecturer who always used to screw us in the end by eating the sponsorship money, the fun, the frolic, the victories, the losses, the pain, the disappointment and what not. And every year there used to be a minimum of 8 fests within mysore and 1 University Fest. Gone are those days.

10 things I wanna achieve in a decade:
Hmmm... Now this is something. 10 things are a little too less but I safely assume that the word achieve here means things I wanna do at any cost. So here goes...
(@Revs - Now look. These are things I really wanna do and you stole it all. I cant think of other things now. So most of this is a repeat telecast. :( I am not ctrl+Cing and ctrl+Ving...Honestly!!)

1. I want to go bungee jumping, sky diving and scuba diving.
2. I want to travel a lot. Especially to places where tourism has not yet eaten into. Places like Sikkim, Bhutan, Arunachal Pradesh, Tibet, Nepal and above all, manas sarovar(The birth place of the river Ganga)
3. I want to buy a Honda Civic hybrid and go for a long drive.
4. I want build my dream home. A nice two storeyed home that'll have an underground parking, a nice underground swimming pool with a bar table and a snooker table. The first floor will have the basic house stuff and the second floor will have my room with slant glass wall so that I can see those rain water falling down beautifully. The terrace will be a place where I can have candle light dinners with that someone special. All this will be in mysore and only mysore. This is what I call home.
5. I want to start an NGO that helps poor people get food, shelter and clothing. And yeah, it would go international and however cliched this might sound... it would help those poor mal nourished kids in africa.
6. I want to start a restaurant chain and name it La aaloos. It'll serve different varities of French Fries the Indian way.
7. I want to adopt a girl child. Rather two. And baby sit them. I simply love kids. Especially girl childs coz you can dress them up with all those fashion accessories and adore them. :)
8. I want to visit all the wonders of the world.
9. I want to do all my dream jobs... a waiter in a restaurant, a traffic police constable, a radio jockey, a driver, a pilot and a cook. All atleast for a day.
10. Earn quite a lotta money, do all the stuff thats listed above and then give away everything and keep on travelling till I am left with no money whatsoever. Want to start my life all over again from scratch.

Phew... This was some tag I tell you. And I had a tough time thinking. Plainly coz of the fear of being branded a copy-cat when I know I am not. :(
Well... Anybody is free to take this tag. But as the custom goes, I tag:
Karuna(First time I am tagging you... so you better take it without a fuss)
Sri(You first read my blogs... Tagging you coz you are not cut out for such boring stuff)
Asooka(Just to check if he takes up tags.. :P)
So long...

Friday, July 4, 2008

Those things that I do...

'Whose gonna entertain us all when you are gone?', she said. Now this she is a collegue of mine who I have been haunting for the past 2 and half years. I mean, project after project after project, its just devilish providence that she always ends up in my project. Its been so long since she knows me and has been a loyal member of the 'Bugee' club of Karthik. I love to bug her. Have tormented her with my crazy thoughts, stupid ideas, crappola and what not. Now when I stare at a time when I'll be going off elsewhere, it seems our team which includes her is going to miss the entertainment they get..huh.. What about all the technical help in Java and Vignette I provided you guys...Dawgs!!

Anyways... I was pondering why they find me entertaining. I mean... I dont do anything deliberately to entertain them. I just be myself. But a little deep dwelling into the things that I do, I now feel, yes... I sometimes do really stupid and crazy things.

Those things I do:
1. I am a bad singer. So bad that even the donkeys can expect to win grammys but I cant. I am that bad. But the good part is, I am a singer. And I sing. :) Any song that I find catchy, I keep humming my way to glory. What more, I sing it with full emotions bringing about all those expressions on my face. Only to be guffawed by people. For one, the song I sing would be like 'Nagada nagada nagada baja' and to top that expressions. But I am unaware of what happens while I sing coz I close my eyes. :D

2. I talk to myself. Yes. All by myself. When I am doing something, I simply cant keep scolding myself, correcting myself and keep talking to myself. There have been so many times people have thought that I am talking to them only to find out that I am talking to myself with headphones blaring. So I dont even know if I am talking aloud. In the process of thinking aloud, I do make people go bonkers. The best part is, its not just with myself that I talk(apart from other people of course..duh) I talk to all the inanimate things that you can find. For example the ring that I am wearing. Its called "pavithram" and its very tight. I keep telling it not to hurt me and loosen up a bit. It works, trust me. Then I have this comp of mine.. "Tracy"(Named after the legendary Tracy Chapman) I simply love conversing with her. Whenever something doesnt work or the system hangs, I get irked that I scold her with all the unmentionable bad words and when something works I am like all gaga. I dont know why people find it odd. I mean, come on. Even machines need someone to talk to.

3. I think I am dyslexic. But in a different sense. If I am not, how does one explain the fact that I always end up throwing my coffee mug in the bin and take the tissue paper to wash?? This always happens after coffee with my collegues. Now its not just that. I close the opened gate and then try to get my vehicle out. I unlock my machine and then switch the monitor off. In school I remember many times getting confused with the right/left shoes. Used to wear it ulta. I have always had trouble with these push and pull doors. I push when its written pull and pull when its written push. Now then... I really wonder if I need to go to some special school. How about a special office, where you get paid for getting alright?? :D

4. I have the most inordinate ways of making a chat conversation. I dont remember the last time I opened the chat window and typed a decent, "Hi...Whats up??" or an answer to the same question from the other side saying, "Hi... I am good. How are you??" Its always things like zoink, bling bling, yo, a reply to their messenger note or some crap which makes absolutely no sense. And most of the chat conversations would serve no useful purpose to either parties. There has been a time when I chatted with just smiley with this friend of mine for a full one hour. And people ask me, cant you just be normal. Talking crap and sending smileys is normal no?? *blinks innocently*

5. Whenever in the food court, I pick a group of people and try to talk as to what they would be talking. This usually would be couples or a group of silly-look, giggling girls. Its fun to mock them and understand their true emotions you know. *Wicked Grin* Its one gala affair.

6. I am rubber faced. My face can take weird shapes... I mean those smiley shapes. I have had galore of people telling me that when I talk my face also talk. Ewwww... I dont find that funny but they do. But yeah, I love to make faces. I always do. And what more, whenever I find a mirror, be it anywhere, I make faces at myself. In fact, I can emulate a lotta those smileys on messenger with ease.

7. I like weird noises. And I always make them. For example, the noise or sound that gets done when you blow air into your drink. Especially, milk shakes and those thick drinks. Its amazing to see the bubbles and even amazing to hear that glob-glob sound. And then there is this plastic crushing sound. I simply love it. I simply have to make that sound with the cover of chips pack. Thats one of the reasons I buy chips. There are a lot more such noises. For example, the sound of the keyboard(ok..thats geeky.. agreed.. but still.. I love it), the sound a vehicle makes when accelerated in neutral, the sound of sneeze, the sound of gargling and the glass breaking noise. :)

8. I simply cant open plastic covers. For example, candy packets, shampoo sachets, chips cover or any other cover made of plastic. I simply cant. It just wont open. I feel so irritated at times that I actually ask the shop keeper for scissors. How bad is that?? And everyone laughs at me saying I am such a kid. Guys... chill. It happens. Everyone has a weakness. Mine has gotta do with opening things...err...plastic covers. :(

Ok wait... I dont think I'll stop anytime soon if I go on like this coz the list is endless. And its getting boring to talk about myself. :( Oh yeah... By the way, even I am gonna miss all the fun we have at office very soon. Coz I am going morque.(In case you dint get that, type onsite in your mobile in t9 mode) I am planning on a long trip. Hope everything is gonna be just okay!!

Saturday, June 28, 2008

This and that

Well then... nothing unusual. Have apparently been lousily inactive on blogs once again, atleast when it comes to posting. So thought I'll sum up whatever has happened over that past month. Purely this and that. Can get really boring coz of late, the author seems to have lost his touch and is pretty rusty in terms of sense of humor.

4 weeks back: Had been on the yearly pilgrimage trip with mom, bro, uncle and aunt. It was temples, temples and more temples and yours truly was obviously bored. But then the most interesting part of the whole journey was visiting my ancestoral village. We stayed there for a night and a day and boy the memories are simply stuck on to me. Picture this: A country side home with small streets. Greenary all around. River flowing right behind the home, a nice little hill where the sun rises and a huge pocket of hills where the sun sets and life so simple. Had great fun at this small beauty of a village called Karugurchi. And I decided one thing for sure. I'll make a lot of money, go there, buy myself some land and a house and settle down. That IS Life. Trust me.

3 Weeks ago: Had been on a trip to Edekkal caves on a weekend. There were 17 of us in a mini van which had license for just 13. Ended up coughing 2 grand each to the Kerala border police as fine but then what the heck. Superb trip where we had great fun climbing right upto the top of Edekkal caves. One helluva trek that. Steep, dangerous and what more... we had a few 'oh-I-am-this-delicate-darling-and-I-always-need-someone's-help' kinda lohamale creatures who we had to support all the way to the top. But then... apparently there were these 'oh-I-am-this-stud-who-is-ever-ready-to-help-anything-that-looks-remotely-female-to-score-brownie-points' kinda guys. So I was just a mute spectator to all these as I climbed my way to the top. I mean...come on!! I can help if its like really steep and you are not able to climb coz you are short or you dont have the strength. Why on earth would someone need help to climb a rock(err...stone) which is not even half the size of my house's stairs is what I wanna know. I hate the fact that some girls get away with such outrageous demands just because they are girls given the fact that they earn just as much as I do and what more, they pay less tax than I do. 33% reservation eh?? Huh... But whatever... Had a nice time amongst nature and felt really relieved and de-stressed. The best part were the tea estates in Wayanad and of course the wonderful Suchipura falls. I wanna go there again to trek sans some fuzzy girls. Well, I wouldnt deny that there were a couple of brave and neat trekker girls too. Love you guys and your spirit and the free lime-soda you got me for the lousy PJs I made. Thats the way to go!!

2 Weeks ago: Wrote a blog on the meaning of ZOMG in my office blogs and boy, it surely went down well(hehehe...ok...not too well) with a lot of folks. Having had the reputation to post absolute crap in blogs, this one was like the jewel in the crown. People went bonkers and I had another 15-20 additions to the already long list of 'Hate-Karthik-till-he-dies' members list. But then what the heck, no one understand the deep philosophy that I put into each of the crappola that I write. Talking of crappola I realized that there is no such word in the English dictionary. Now then, I really want to copyright the word. Its meaning literally translates to anything thats absolutely irrelevant in worldly contexts and yet makes a lot of sense if read in a philosophical sense. And this is a word everyone in office identifies my blogs with. Aint that cool... A word coined by Karthik, for Karthik, of Karthik. Wooo hooooo... And whats the necessity to shield sanity with a shield of insanity? Well... so that the wise get the needy and the rest maintain status quo. hehe...

1 1/2 Week ago: Done with bro's engineering counselling. YAME he is gonna be. Just like me. I hope he doesnt become YAMEWBALSE. The best part is that he is gonna study in the same college and the same branch as me. Cant wait to hear from him as to how the lecturers are asking him in that weird tone, "You are Karthik's brother... ??" hehehe... But trust me... He has big shoes to fit in.
Oh btw...
YAME = Yet Another Mechanical Engineer.
YAMEWBALSE = Yet Another Mechanical Engineer Who Became A Lousy Software Engineer.

1 Week Ago: I was asked by my HR to host the MVP Award Ceremony in my Unit. MVP stands for Most Valuable Performer. It was a pretty cheap thing for me to do given the fact that it was going to be on Video Conference and you dont need to even stand. (Ahem...Karthik Subbaiah is a bigtime public speaker having spoken in front of large, unsupportive crowd many a times.)God knows why the HR made such a hoopla about it and made us rehearse so many times. Result: I had truck loads of work to catch up on. It came out really well or should I say pretty boring. But thats not the important thing. The important thing was, yours truly was nominated for MVP awards(No... shed the thought that MVP stands for Most Vetti Paya) But I came to know that I was nominated the day before the awards while I knew the winners five days earlier. Talk about knowing the answers before even being asked the question... Phew... I felt like GOD. I am. Thats a whole different issue altogether.

1 Day Ago: Watched Thoda Pyar Thoda Magic. Dumb movie actually, but I somehow liked it. Probably for the kids who have done a great job and the movie's sheer dumbness at time. Nice dumbness I would say. The + points and - points got my attention. I'll use it on my kids for sure. :) But then what the hell... its a movie afterall. We cant search logic for everything na. And Karthik loves kids. So there you go. 3 stars for the movie from my side.

Alright then. I apparently dont have many readers out here as noone knows that I write here. Time to call upon everyone to jump over here. For I'll be stopping blogs in office as I might not have access after a few days. Reasons...well...will be updated later. So long...

Updates: Well...apparently the word Crappola already exists in the Urban Dictionary. Huh... The hopelessly hopeful hope of mine squashed!! :P:P

Sunday, May 18, 2008

Trip to Chickmagalur

Its been a while since people had been telling me this --> "I think you need a break. If you keep going on like this, you might end up in a mental asylum."(They just dont know whats my true background...*pagal smile*) They were referring to nothing but my work. Its been a little over 6 months since I got into this new project. Lots of challenges, lots of responsibilities and what more, helluva lotta work. Result: You have a man who walks java, talks java, speaks java and what more breathes java. The social circle started to shrink and everyone who met me and who saw me crib about work told me to pack my bags and just leave.

And woooohoooo... Leave I did for a weekend getaway. After some basic research and singling out on places to visit, I decided that we should have an adventurous trip. Something like a hill station cum jungle place cum a place to relax and so on. And found one in Chickmagalur. For those of you who dont know where Chickmagalur is or for all the brainless who think chick magalur is a place where there are lots of chicks, let me tell you that its the heart of coffee cultivation of India. And also its a district in Karnataka. Now then..off we went to a resort in the middle of the plantations.

The journey started off on a predictable note with me being elected unanimously as the trip driver although for a fact lemme tell you that I never contested. :( So I had to do all the driving. 6 hours of Indian road can takes its toll on anyone I say. But surprisingly the drive was good for once the roads were awesome and our music had some punch. It was such a huge relief to see some greenary and breathe some fresh air. I already started feeling my shoulders get unstiffed.

And finally, after 6 hours of fantabulous driving by yours truly, we reached Muthodi checkpost where we had to park our vehicle and get picked up by the Resorts vehicle.


Resort: First Impression: We landed in the Resort and the first thing was a nice long swimming pool. Sadly though it was infested by some weird looking creatures which in most part of the world would be referred to as humans. Ok. Lets do this. Imagine a Bowling Pin. Now imagine a human size bowling pin. Now imagine the human size bowling pin having hands and legs. Now thats exactly how these few creatures in the swimming pool looked. In their early 50s, god knows what these people were doing in that Resort. Spoilt my whole mood. But yeah... Had a nice physics lesson --> The quality and quantity of water in a swimming pool is inversely proportional to the creature infesting it and its size respectively.

Phew...Some start to the trip eh?? Tell me about it. So then, we decided that we aint jumping into the pool that day although it was so hot. We dint want to risk our lives. The food was decent but the place was a touch too hot for a hill station.

The evening was pretty cool and we had a long walk around the whole coffee plantation and trust me... it was wonderful. I mean wherever you see, its just greenary and more greenary. The sunset was the clincher for the day and we ended up narrating impromptu horror stories during the pool side dinner. I still kept looking at the pool wondering if they had cleaned it and will I be able to jump in the next day. (Ok... I was desparate to swim in the swimming pool.. :D)

The next day we had plans of trekking up the hill. The 3 km trek early in the morning had the fit me up and going while the lousy nincompoops with tonnes of belly fat around were huffing and puffing all the way up. Sigh!! And finally we were at the top of the hill. What an awesome view I say!! I could literally see the horizon and boy... For a second I was like 'Wow... Is this what you call heavenly??' I was amidst clouds and the sun had just risen and the sky... Inexplicable. Worth the effort so early in the morning.

Then we got down and I was all excited that finally I am going to jump into the pool and lo. Murphy shined his blessings on me.

Introducing the Butt family: When we got back from the trek, we got to see another horrific tragedy happening. Again in the pool. A family of 2 couples+ 2 kids. I have nothing against them jumping in the pool but come on... Dont you have swimming costumes. You just dont jump in with your travel clothes on. Yuck!! Was indeed disgusting. So our plans of jumping into the pool again was squashed. One of us even suggested that we jump in and put them out but what the heck. We ditched the plan and went for a safari. Oh wait... I dint tell you why I called this family as the butt family na.. hehe.. Its gross but still. Both the couples were so fat that their err...butt was sticking out. :P:P

Flora and flora: The safari was supposed to be a wildlife safari and we expected to see a lotta animals. But all we managed to see was a dog which apparently is that of a villager, two deers and one rabbit. Thats it!! That is all!! 1000 bucks gone in thin air. :(

The evening was cool with a nice round of fishing. I know the activity sounds boring for even I used to say the same thing before I tried. It was good. I mean, it takes some skill to fish fish. :D I managed to catch 9 kutti kutti fishes, the max by any one of us!! But poor fishes... the metal hook would have surely hurt them. :(

And then there were quite a lotta this and that that happened in the trip which are definitely not all that mentionable as its been more than a week and I dont remember half the things. And more so, I feel this blog has anyways gotten really boring and there is no point in continuing it any further. All in all, I had a great last weekend, a nice break from work and the whole mundane life and I feel a lot more rejuvenated. :)

So long...

Saturday, May 10, 2008

Mother's day especial post - Amma!!

Its been 24 years since I started treading this planet(well..not literally...lest you think I am this super human creature who could walk the next moment I was born) and there is not a thing in the world I cant live without, except of course, my dear mom. I mean, the very thought that I had make my own coffee coz my mom wont be around for a few days back, gave me the creeps. Well, not because I make that bad a coffee, but because I simply cant imagine a day when I wake up and my mom is not ready with her simple filter coffee that is the world's best coffee. Well then, thats just for starters. Today is mother's day and I want to dedicate this blog to my mom and throw some light on this best friend of mine.

Some old memories:
The earliest memory of my mom is when I used to complain that my head is splitting coz of the construction work above my place and how she used to hug me tight so that I dont hear the sound. Little did she know that I was gasping for breath also. :)
But then that safety feeling made me sleep sound.
And then I remember those lunch times in school where she got me hot food coz I cant eat food if it gets cold.(psss... I like it only hot...even today) . I used to hate taking bath and used to run around the whole house(absolutely naked...) and she used to run behind me to catch me.

The way she used to teach how one should walk only on the pavements and never on road. I used to ask her why and her reason used to be, the thar on the road gets heated due to sun and becomes sticky. If it sticks to the shoe, the shoe gets spoilt. Probably she dint want to tell me about the vehicles for I would dare and try.

I dont remember any part of my childhood without my mom being in the frame. Dad...naah. He used to be this person who used to buy me toys everytime he went to bangalore. I thought that was his only job till I was about 6 years old. hehe... But it used to be mom all the while.

I remember how she used to pinch me in my tigh when I refuse to swallow food. (That is the only area in the human body where you can get hurt without the slightest injury) All that was then.

Momly ways:
There are some things only my mom can pull off. For example, that typical emotional card. Whenever during college I used to go out with friends, I remember my mom saying,"Yen pulla tappa dhanda yellam panna maataanu nambikka vechurikken"(I believe that my son wont get into bad things). After hearing this, which son would go astray tell me. I used to love the way she innocently says such stuff.

When it comes to cooking, she has this unique way of convicing us that what she cooks is almost always what we wanted to eat. For example, she would have told me in the morning that its gonna be potato roast for lunch. When I come home expecting potato curry, she serves me cabbage. When I ask her, she simply says, "Come on...you only say,'Potato has a lot of calories and cabbage is fibre and things like that'... so thought, why cook something unhealthy". How cool is that.

A thing she never ever compromises on is her daily dose of Saas-bahu drama, the Arasis, the Kolamgals and the Selvis. Years and years of same crap and she still doesnt get tired. Her line of argument is simple. When you guys can watch the same game of cricket which has unchanged over the years, why do you compalain about mega-serials. So then, we also keep her company, while commenting on its mediocrity all through the while. A nice battle I would say.
These are just to name a few.

The Routine:
Its amazing how her routine has been unchanged for the past so many years. I mean, when I was in school, my dad used to go to work and her day used to start with preparing coffee for everyone at home, then preparing breakfast - simultaneously getting me ready for school, serving breakfast for all, dropping me all the way to school, coming back home to cook the lunch and then the washing of clothes and then a little this and that and again, I come back home from school in the evening and the chores went on and on. What starts at 5:00 AM in the morning used to end at 11:00 PM in the night. And not one day have I seen her complain. Its as though she is addicted to this routine that even today she keeps doing one thing or the other and never keeps quiet. Her amazing amount of energy to keep herself going like this astounds me.

A little this and that:
Some things that I always admire about my mom is:

1. How she constantly manages to cook awesome food and make superlative coffee. (Coffee Days and Baristas, I dont think you can mock this... ever)

2. How she even to-date thinks that I would get scared if she scolds me(I do actually.. :))

3. How she had complete faith in me that I would do well, even after my pathetic showing in Entrance exams.

4. How she comes to me with those little things that she needs to get done and offers me a deal everytime.

5. How she keeps singing all the time all alone without knowing the fact that she is being noticed.

6. How she takes a neutral stand when me and my brother fight and then gives a biased decision based on some baseless information... :P:P

7. How she manages the home so well and never lets things go out of control.

8. How she still believes in giving me pocket money, even though I have been working.

9. How she gets angry with me over little nothings and still calls me for dinner and serves me dinner ever so affectionately.

This..that and a whole lot more. The list is endless and I can go on.

I think no person in this whole wide world would not love their mom. I mean, probably different levels of affection but the affection is certainly going to be there. Having never gone out for a long time, I havent yet got an oppurtunity to miss her badly. That day isnt far off and I hope I fare well. And I really dont know how I am gonna cope with it though. She has been there for me all through and I am sure she'll be there for me all my life. Come on, she has to and she will.

A note to mom:
Thank you mom for giving me this life and also for bringing me up to what I am today and showing all the love and affection you can. I am indebted to you for that and I love you. And yeah...Once in a while, you can cook garlic. I like it and you dont doesnt mean you should say it smells bad and so you dont want to :)

Well then... atleast the mom's day got me blogging again out here. As someone says, 'My blog seems rather mal-nourished'. Shall try and give it some nourishment, once in a while. :)

Ooops... somebody tells me that 11th May is Mother's day and I got the date wrong. Come on, everyday you or me lives is coz of her. There aint a need to have a day for us to thank her.

Thursday, December 6, 2007

I...I...I...

For some reason, I have never been able to maintain my online journal. Most of my time or should I say, most part of my life, is always offline. Although my nature of work is to bring the population and their business online. How ironic... I wonder. Anyways, that just about leaves me with enough time to update my office blogs with all those non-sensical yada yada that would make even the Keelpauk/NIMHANS chief to go bonkers. But like someone said, I really wanna move over to Martinis from Scotch so that I get, entangled in and addicted to, both.

This time I am here to stay and I dont know in what way. But I shall prevail.
Being a person who doesnt read a lot of books, I have always had a limited mental library of vocabulary. I am probably at loss of the right words most of the time for I know not what I should talk. But a recent venture into some crappy talk made me realise that I do have an ounce of talent available to be showcased at the bottom of the heart of my bottom. That talent is pretty insane to say the least. Its about making sentences with all the words starting with the same letter. Might seem funny but honestly a coupla second glances at my own piece of work and it started seeming not crappy afterall. Trust me it isnt. Here are a few.

Prudently pristine philosophical profanity permeates perpetual pessimism, profusely petrifying poor people.

Crisp clandestine crimson crap creates creative cardinal criminals committing corporate crimes.

Imposingly ironical industrial information is irrelevantly impressed into irritating indian irredentists.

Now then, I can go on. But let me put a full stop at this moment for I dont want to be showcasing too much too soon. I know, I dont write well. I know I need to improve. I know...I know...(Reminds of some Raghuvaren movie...) But then, there is a difference. Knowing and Doing. I hope I know that I am a Doer and Do for once for I know it.
So long...

Monday, August 27, 2007

Just for tags...gags!!

Its been a long weekend with nothing much to do whatsoever. Thanks to Mr.Saturdayji, Mr. Sundayji and Mr.Mondayji(Oji...Aaj Onam hai ji), I am sitting here looking out for things to keep me busy. Atleast at work, I could have kept myself busy by eating away fellow bloggers' head for breakfast, 10 O clock coffee break, pre-lunch snack time, lunch, post-lunch munch time, 3 O clock tea break, evening snack, the appy fizz time and for dinner. But alas, with this long holiday I am deprived of all such heavenly pleasures. Its been just breakfast, lunch and dinner of the diet food...maane tho...maa ka khana. Anyways...I am not complaining. Once in a while you need to eat tasty food. Now, let me cut the crap and get to the agenda of the blog.

Picked up some questions from a tag. Lets see if I can answer some of them. Seems like time-machine and transport to parallel universe wala science to me. Whatever...Just bringth.

1. Pick out a scar you have , and explain how you got it .
Actually there are quite a few scars on my body. But if I point them out, I would be lost for words in explaining how I got them for I dont remember any of them. Mostly I convince myself that I was born with it. But there is this one scar, which is like this chaapaa that dhobis put on their donkeys to mark that they are the dhobi ka donkeys. Yes...I hereby introduce to you - The "ITScar". Now itscar can be located on the right hand of any vehement computer user. It is a dark brown scar located on the south-west corner of your palm. Yeah yeah...go ahead and look at it. Wow...isnt it a beauty?? So much so, for holding on to the mouse. See...if you dont leave the mouse alone, it will give you such scars.

2. What does your phone look like ?
Dont you think its such a slapstickishly stupid question. A phone looks like a phone, whether its mine or yours. Its doesnt look like a watch or himesh reshamiyya's cap. Anyways, now that the question is asked, it shall be answered. It looks like an i-phone. But its all screensaver ka jaadoo.

3.What is on the walls of your bedroom ?
A coupla calendars, lots of left over paper from the stuck-later torn posters, some spiders lazing in their webs in the corners, lots of childhood graffitis including many spiral targets(god knows why I wrote such stuff), a tennis racquet hanging and a mirror which is like an antique piece.
Oh...I almost forgot. I think the last time these walls were painted were when it still smelt of cement. Some 35 years ago.

4. What is your current desktop picture ?
The photo of a guy wearing a half saffron, half green shirt with a white tie and a chakra in the middle of the tie. And yeah...Thats me in my independence day attire suggested by a friend of mine. Fancy dress jaisa lag raha hai. Well...I shouldnt hoax people like this you know. In reality, its the windows XP ka default green pasteur thats on. But in actually that was the screensaver of hell shown to Bill Gates up after his death. God knows when he came back to haunt us with Vista.

5. Do you believe in gay marriage ?
Nope. I dont. A marriage can never be gay. I mean, have you ever seen a gay couple after some years of marriage. I havent. There is something or the other to crib about. Gay marriage is an illusion that is created before marriage. Ooops...Wait a minute...Am I missing something...Aila...Was it that Gay you were talking about? Extreme misunderstoodings. See...If bhaiji and behanji...ooops...another bhaiji are fine with it, who am I to stop them. Whether I believe it or not.

6. What do you want more than anything right now ?
Water supply. I am sitting here right from morning stinking and spreading stink coz water supply hasnt started yet.

7 . What time were you born ?
Whatever time it was, bohot hi bura samay tha. With just 22 years gone by, duniya mein itna gandh macha diya hai. God knows how long I am going to live. I yam lovin it anyways.
And yeah...Answer to the question. The record says 1:35 PM. The nurse said 1:25PM. I think its 1:30PM. Average always works.

8. Last person who made you cry ?
It was not a person. It was a thing. Called Tie. Ever heard of khushi ki aansoo and dukh ki aansoo pouring down together. One from each eye. It happens to me every monday and tuesday. I'll blog about this later.

9. What is your favorite perfume / cologne ?
I was waiting for this day. 1st september. Axe ka ad aane wala hai. So its Axe all the way.
Btw, I have already seen the uncut version of it in youtube. Phir bhi...TV ka maza hi kuch aur hai. ;)
And yeah, honestly, I like Axe. Not for the smell, but for the name. Sounds good. /Wicked grin/

10. What kind of hair/eye color do you like in the opposite sex ?
Black is beautiful.

11. Do you get scared of the dark ?
Of course not. I love the dark. I like venturing into the dark and exploring the unknown.
And please...if you believed the above, you are being very foolish. Everyone is scared of the dark and so am I!!

12. Do you like pain killers ?
No.
Aise ulte seedhe savalon ke liye one word answer kaafi hai.

13. If you could eat anything right now , what would it be ?
Lots and lots and lots of bhejas. I love bhejas. And I love eating them after frying 'em.
But then, I am not a cannibal. I am just another lousy dumb guy!

Chalo...bus...13 is my favourite number. And I'll stop at this. I dont want paraskavedekatriophobics around here. So long.